In the life of Becky

It's been a week since I've made my way home back to Cleveland, Ohio. On March 5th I began my travels to Liberia, Africa for the first time. Truthfully, I can't say I had much of any thought going into the trip. As everyone would say, time came and went so quickly leading up to the trip. Even leading up to getting on the plane to go, it never really felt real. The first night in Liberia is a bit of a blur, I was so deliriously tired that the only thing I remember is waking up in the middle of the night with my nose ring caught on the Mosquito net feeling confused as to why I was stuck.  The first day in Monrovia set the stage for how the rest of the trip was going to feel. The hospitality of the Liberian people surpasses anything I've ever experienced. Honestly speaking I don't ever remember having a thought remembering I was white.... which obviously stuck out among the natives. For complete strangers to treat us like royalty it was a confusing feeling. ...

Sometimes I have to sit back and think, Becky, God's totally got you. Which ultimately means, you got this killa. But often I have to remind myself of how awesome life really is and how the learning process in your early twenties is possibly just the beginning of the best journey of the rest of your life. These are some things I have to remind myself all the time. 1. Don't let anyone try and tell you that you aren't killing the game. You paid your bills this month, you cooked an actual meal more than once, and you can afford to treat yourself to coffee.. You are well dressed, well spoken, and beautiful. Stop stressing over the big stuff. Drive that crappy car, go to work with a smile, and live this life. Since when did we begin to measure success by what we have and not how we feel in the moments we are drenched in around us. 2. Keep your #Squad close Squads come and go, but the ones that have been there loyal from the start of your emotional downfalls and the ones ...

It's one beautiful day in North East Ohio. Our colors are at their peak of fall and it's one of the most refreshing sights to see before we sink into the depths of a cold winter. This time of the year is typically my favorite time because it's usually a time of reflections and preparation. This year has been a bit different for me. People ever since I moved into a role of really, full time ministry, have always reminded me to make sure I don't "burn out". I heard it over and over again from so many people that have been in similar positions of feeling burnt out, worn out, or just mentally exhausted. I always thought to myself, that couldn't be me ever. How could I possibly get to the point of being done with something that I love so much. Of course, I've had dozens if not hundreds of days ending exhausted to get up the next day and do it all over again, but that's life. This last  year was more of a whirlwind that anything. I went from thinkin...

These usually are for my own personal healing and expression. But who knows, maybe there is another like me.. Finding myself in a really good place before the start of Summer. Growing and experiencing more after moving and learning more and more into my early twenties. Hitting a new low that hasn't been identified in my realm of feelings. Trying to name and put into words the oppression. That I am always putting myself in a "in or out" type of mentality. Either I'm not giving enough of myself into my job and considering myself selfish, or I'm giving too much of myself where I find myself lost. We've all heard the endless lines of how good judgement comes from experience and experience comes from poor judgement. For me, it was one of those weird lines to cross. My poor judgement wasn't ever all that much of mine. I learned more of experience from watching the judgement of others around me and grew off of that. But from that, I found myself bottled up an...

It's January 18th, 2015... 18 days into January and half way through my twenty first year on earth and it's already been something for the books. I can always look back in my years and see what kind of phases I've been in and what things certainly irked me to thrive in a different passion or put someone or something behind me. Lately, I have been looking a lot into my relationships of different forms and a lot on how this generation communicates. My job entails me to work with many different people of all different ages, ethnicity, culture, shapes, sizes, and backgrounds. This has caused me to deeply search within myself how I can best be a resource to them for the work of the Kingdom. It's not easy and often draining even frustrating. Since I've found myself in this new found phase of almost disgust, anytime I like to make an assumption and sometimes conclusion about other people or society in a whole, I am certainly sure to check myself first. What I am seeing thr...

I sit here this morning, the day before Thanksgiving.  Thanksgiving was actually a time that was actually created after some dark historical roots of pilgrimage. Now I obviously don't boast in the reasons why Thanksgiving was created, however I do myself enjoy giving back thanks for the things in my life that God has provided and put his provision over. I bring this reason up because as I sit here looking at my Facebook news-feed or if I turn on the news I am hit in the face and in the gut with a panoramic view of a complete and utter display of a broken world. I sit and gasp at the horror of the things going on around us and the people it is affecting. In every acting party involved in the current of events that are taking place closely to home we all have something to be upset about. I am not here to speak on those behalves, but I do want to ask what part you are playing a role in? In all curiosity, I find the most interesting thing that the one thing we preach is unity but in ...

So about a month ago my father, Dave Trout, challenged me to read Psalm 119 everyday for I think like the next three months. Taking on the challenge primarily because it was my dad who challenged me, I obviously couldn't let him show me up. But with great humbleness I have to say life, gangs, Liberians, and food poisoning did get in the way of me keeping up with my challenge. However, I did find times to read it and all 176 verses challenged me a little bit more. I found myself reading through this chapter and being convicted but yet calmed. See this summer was long and awesome. But I can tell you there were so many times I was trying so hard to keep my encouragement up in Christ. When you are swarmed with people in poverty stricken areas, with relationships, expectations, and the weights of the world its easy to loose track of who God is and how we should worship Him not on our situation, but because He is. Psalm 119 really takes you on a realization of why it's the longest ...